The Equalizer: Representation and Resilience in Leadership
Host Lauren Cardillo sits down with Ashley Esposito, a UMGC graduate, community organizer, and the first mother ever elected to the Baltimore City Board of School Commissioners. Ashley opens up about her unconventional path through an education system that nearly left her behind. Diagnosed with dyslexia and ADHD at age 35, she reflects on falling "off the cliff" in third grade, navigating the foster care system, and the resilience it took to earn a degree after years of academic probation.
Now a data analyst and executive director of Baltimore Unity Hall, Ashley shares how her lived experiences allow her to "poke holes" in outdated policies and advocate for students on the margins. From door-knocking with a toddler in a backpack to passing landmark foster care legislation, Ashley’s story proves that education can truly be an equalizer when those it once failed are given a seat at the table.
Episode Information
Ashley Esposito
When you're adult that gets diagnosed if you catch things early. Like if you do early intervention, you can help mitigate or bake in some support to navigate things and make education more accessible. But when you're an adult and you're already like, sent in those things, like a lot of my accommodations were external, so I use a screen reader. I've been hard headed over the years and I'm like, I'm reading great. And then I try to and then I'm like, oh yeah, I need to like, stop playing.
Narrator
And welcome to the UMGC podcast, Unstoppable Stories with your host Lauren Cardillo.
Lauren Cardillo
Today we're joined by Ashley Esposito. Thanks for being here. You are the first mom elected to the school board in the city of Baltimore, which is crazy. You are also a UMGC Award winner for alumni because of all your volunteer work and also a UMGC grad. These are great accomplishments. So I have to ask you right off the bat, your journey into education did not start, you know, perfectly. Tell me how you went from somebody who was having problems learning to actually being able to achieve all these wonderful things.
Ashley Esposito
I think that I've always. Been very persistent, like just in anything. So education was a challenge for me. It wasn't a challenge like in the earlier grades, but I was definitely one of those kids that kind of fell off the cliff at third grade. And it makes a lot of sense now, especially like now that I'm a mom of a kindergartner and helping him through like IEPs and speech and different things, I'm seeing, like myself. Play over again. And so for me, it was just really difficult to learn and learn at the pace of everyone else. And I feel like in third grade is like where I definitely fell off and then I just never recovered. So, you know, going through all the different grades and also just having like, life stuff, family stuff going on made it very difficult. You know, I carried a lot into the classroom and my trajectory was got really, really difficult in middle school. So once I got to the middle school level, I just felt so lost, like there were things that my classmates knew how to do or assignments that they knew how to do, or studying just different skills like that. And I was still grappling with the skills that I didn't grasp the previous year. And because I was like, aware of how far behind was I was in the classroom. Like, I just really even struggled, like asking the types of questions to like, get support, not wanting to like, feel dumb because for I would say most of my education experience, I was either like told by by individuals that I was like, not smart or like I was very smart, like when they would talk to me, but on paper, like that didn't really like carry over. So that insecurity I've carried with me for a really long time.
Lauren Cardillo
So you sort of fell fell through the cracks because of a lot of things.
Ashley Esposito
Yeah. So I didn't find out until I was 35. Years old. That I had learning disabilities. My husband was a special education peer educator, and I had tried to go to college like I had gone to multiple schools. I went to community college, Philadelphia, Dell Tech, and Delaware. There was a couple other schools that I went to, and I just could not, you know, I couldn't pass and I would end up getting like put on academic probation and not able to stay in school. And I barely graduated high school. I graduated high school at the 1.42 million GPA for all four years. And that's with going to night school. So I technically probably did like five years of high school to graduate, and it was just brutal. So he's the one that really figured out that something was going on. I had been to a learning center for a short period of time when I was in ninth grade, but I didn't get to stay in that program. It was really difficult for me to get there. And but I also didn't get a diagnosis out of that. So he was like, yeah, you should go get checked out. You know, I can't hurt. And I went there and she was like, oh my gosh, I am so sorry you've been dealing with this. It was just terrible. Like to to know that, like, life was hard for a reason.
Lauren Cardillo
Well, it's it's it's terrible. But it's also had to mention was a relief that some of this was like, oh, there's ways we could deal with this. I mean.
Ashley Esposito
Sort of like I hadn't really received support and I didn't know how impactful it would be. And I think the other challenge to is like when you're adult, an adult that gets diagnosed, if you catch things early, like if you do early intervention, you can help mitigate or like bake in some support or like learning to to navigate things and make education more accessible. But when you're an adult and you're already like sent in those things, like a lot of my accommodations were external, so I use a screen reader. I've been hard headed over the years and I'm like, oh, I can, I'm reading great. And then I try to and then I'm like, oh yeah, I need to like stop playing and rely on it. So I think it when it was hard for me to like, accept that where I was learning wise with a lot of things was where I was. Even though the paper said it, I felt it. It was hard to realize that, like at that age, like one, everything was hard for a reason, but also the accommodations that I got when I received them, I was like, oh my gosh, like my grades just like improved dramatically and I didn't have to rely on other people.
Lauren Cardillo
Sort of freeing in that way. Yeah. What what did they end up like diagnosing. Was it like dyslexia and aid?
Ashley Esposito
They don't. They didn't call it dyslexia anymore. It just says this specific reading I forgot what the the the phrase it's like a clinical thing and then HD and there's some like audio things that came up with like an int doctor that I went to, which was also interesting because I was like, I remember when I was younger two, they were like, are you listening? But I do have some like hearing difficulties and like some chronic, which also I think has impacted my learning. Yeah. So those are like all the things, but I think the dyslexia and ADHD combined were really the two things that that made it really challenging.
Lauren Cardillo
So how did that inspire you to run for school board? I mean, how did that inspire you to say not everybody learns the same way and I need to help move that.
Ashley Esposito
think it was partially like the learning stuff, but it was also the lived experiences that I had. Like I said, like some of the things I experienced as a kid were really, really difficult. I was later in high school, I went into the foster care system, and then once I aged out of the foster care system, I went into an independent living program for former foster care youth and trying to navigate, you know, like dealing with trauma and, you know, not having like a village and all these different things or really folks to help me navigate just even registering for classes. You know, once I transition out of the foster care system and, you know, was dealing with education directly without a case manager, that was very difficult because I didn't understand a lot of that stuff. Yeah, it for me, like running for school board once I received a diagnosis, once I received accommodations, and once I saw that I could do better in my, you know, like a lot of things changed in my life. I had some, like, stability, you know, it wasn't. The future looked more hopeful and it made. And it also, like, pushed me to like, try, you know, to not just get a bachelor's, but, you know, I can talk about how I got on the trajectory for my master's, but there was like a different level of confidence, like knowing that I can do it. And what I saw with like the education system, especially digging into the kids that have the worst outcomes. A lot of it is our foster care youth, you know, our unhoused youth, our students with disabilities and our multilingual learners. And so three of those lived experiences I have. And when I looked at the composition of the board, I didn't see that perspective represented like real time or at least nobody being open about it, which I also think is really important because kids need to be able to see themselves in leadership, to aspire to, to really, like, believe that education can be an equalizer. So I wanted to run. I was doing work with an organization called schools, Not Jails, and I was also a part of a coalition called the Votes Coalition, which was working towards getting a fully elected school board. And when I went through the appointment process, you know, I really like poured my heart out. I was like, I want to, sir, I know what type of people you typically appointed to the board, but I want to serve as someone who will look out for the kids on the margins, who will look out for the kids that will fall through the cracks that they didn't create. And I think sometimes when people know, like when you are open about like having learning to different disabilities and, you know, just challenges, people have such low expectations about your ability. And so I think turning in that application in a highly competitive recruitment process, you know, they're like, oh, you probably can't do it like that's crazy. So when I, when I got to know for one of the appointed seats, I was like, guess what? I don't like that. And I.
Lauren Cardillo
Was like, they just they just fueled your, your fire to say, I can do this. You know.
Ashley Esposito
Actually, it's so funny. One of my friends yesterday, she called me like a baby Khaleesi. She's like all the cause she knows a lot about, like, my my personal life. And, you know, just like my hard headedness, my trajectory, my. And she's like you. Just like she like a lot of things that beat people down. She's like, you're like, bring it.
Lauren Cardillo
I love the the the visual of you out there. Like talking to people with your son in a backpack. And how do people react to that? But also, I mean, what do you think he was getting from that? He was young, but still they catch on to things, you know.
Ashley Esposito
Yeah, he was a toddler and he he is so much fun. Like so he loved just like being out. He has probably visited a he went to almost every sign delivery with me. So he has probably seen there's like 200 some neighborhoods in Baltimore City. And I would I would bet that he's probably seen more neighborhoods than some adults. And when I was out door knocking, I remember actually the first day I was door knocking, I was door knocking in Bolton Hill, and we were talking to this lady on her stoop and I was like, okay, bye. And me and Vinny actually got stuck to her railing and she had to, like, rescue us because somehow the hiking backpack had this little like thing that, like, got latched on. She's like, oh my gosh, you definitely have my vote. She's like, you're out here just running around. And that's what I did. I was just like, I mean, I'm a data analyst. So I had my own like data strategy for how to to get elected because I was running a win. I was running hard. But I also knew that I had some challenges, you know, you know, being a mom of a little kid who, you know, I had I had very firm boundaries. I'm like, if he's sick, I'm not going anywhere. You know, if he if he is upset one day, like, I'm not going anywhere. Like I'm not doing the campaign stuff. So I had to, like, build systems around me in him that were, you know, able to like, maintain like work life balance. But I think that people's reception of me was really good overall. The only thing that happened that was really jarring when I was at polling places closer to Election Day, you know, there's there were were people that came up to me and they were like, wait, where's your baby? Like, where who has them? And it wasn't like from a place of concern. It was from a place of people telling me that I shouldn't run because I'm alone or because I have a little kid. And it was so interesting to me because I would be a polling places with men who had kids the same age as mine, but nobody like question challenged them. And so I think just also just being a mom and showing up and saying, like, I can lead like you don't write moms off when they have babies or like they're actually like subject matter experts, you know, like, and that we can balance like and carry a lot. But we also.
Lauren Cardillo
Figuratively and literally, right. What a radical idea. Moms can do things. I love it.
Ashley Esposito
And we should we should be. And you know, we like leadership roles. And, you know, we shouldn't be expected to like stay at home. And, you know, and it was also good for Benny to be out and, you know, getting I mean he's a pandemic baby. Like that's why he loved it so much or so, so much time where we couldn't people and giving him like a like making up for all that time that we had to be on lockdown. That was fun. Like the.
Lauren Cardillo
Was probably now the most social little kid. Right. Because. Yeah.
Ashley Esposito
And he's gone. He's gone door knocking with me on other campaigns like we defeated this ballot question. It was question H. It was to reduce our city council size, but it wasn't put in place like it wasn't even from people. It was like special interest groups that were doing it. And so, yeah, me and him went around, our neighbors knocked their doors and he was like dropping literature with my other neighbors. Like he loves it.
Lauren Cardillo
What was your reaction when the when the votes came in and you had won like, oh.
Ashley Esposito
My gosh. So we have a competitive primary in general. So the primary, there was a lot of things that I did in running my campaign that people told me wouldn't work. Like I'm a very like as a community organizer, I'm very focused on relationships. I'm also like an artist, and I have a studio in a different part of town. I had, you know, I've done a lot of like grassroots work with like reproductive rights. And so the way that I ran my campaign was like pulling on, like existing relationships and like having people that, trust me, be a messenger to other folks for me, you know what I mean? And then also my data strategy. I knew where my weak parts were across the city, where I didn't have relationships because I'm a very visual person. I was making maps and doing like data visualizations. And so I did a lot of like targeting in certain communities and relationship building. So I felt really good about how I was running. I felt good that it wasn't transactional. But for people that are like politicos and or like you need to send out this many pieces of mail, yard signs are stupid. You know, there's so many. I love a yard sign. I love all the yard signs. And when we got close to the primary, I remember the person that was my campaign manager, my friend. He was like, oh my gosh. He's like, because he was out, you know, different precincts. And he's like, I think you're going to win. And I was like, what? And so when the votes came in and I was the top vote getter, like we were like, oh my gosh. But I was like really struggling because my running mate, I was hoping that she would get in the top four. So I was like, I wasn't really able to enjoy the primary because I wanted her to be up there with me so bad. And then the general, I think when I won, I was a top vote getter again, but I had a moment where I panicked. And I think when you're when you're running and people are hearing your story, they're hearing your why. I received almost like that same feedback that I received going through the appointment process where people were like, can you do this? Like, are you smart enough to, you know, you're not an educator. You have learning disability. Like and it it it wore on me over time like so by by the general election, I was very sad. I was very sad because I got a glimpse of like how people like, think about kids like me, but also I started like internalizing it. So when I won the general, I actually like cried. And I was like terrified because I was like, I don't know if I can do it, but I got.
Lauren Cardillo
My head internalized everything they said by that. Because you had to do.
Ashley Esposito
Yeah, yeah. Because as a candidate, like, you hear all the things like people, especially strangers will, you know, they'll say all the things that they want to say or, you know, which I respect. But at the same time, when you're the person, it is very challenging. So I really had to take some time to rebuild my confidence. You know, I really leaned into professional development when I got on the board. And I think that that has like helped with that. And it's also changed the way that I'm running my reelection campaign this time, because now I refuse to, you know, have too many people in close proximity to me that don't understand my why.
Lauren Cardillo
Got it. So what of your background? You know, let's say foster care. You know, having a hard time in school. How is that made you as a board member different? Or how is it informed what you really put your passion into for the board?
Ashley Esposito
I'm currently the chair of the policy committee and one of the founding members of the Safety and Wholeness Committee, and I also serve on a state school board entity, on the Equity Committee and the Federal Advocacy Committee, which is a new one. It has informed everything. When I started connecting with board members outside of our jurisdiction and nationally, like I realized that a lot of folks with my lived experience and feeling an education do not end up in these seats. The people that end up in these seats are people that education worked for. You know, there are people that are easily became college graduates, became teachers. You don't see the kids that are incarcerated or, you know, fell, you know, dropped out of high school like the the there is no pathway for the kids that education fails to be in a decision making seat in the highest body of education locally. So that for me, it's not only made me like push people in other jurisdictions to think about like when they're thinking of like putting young people in leadership. Are you just putting the kids that are volunteering and saying, I want to do it, I'm excited? Or are you looking for the kids that are going to tell you where you're messing up? And are you also ready to receive it and do something about it? So that's how I've shown up real time on the board. Like, I literally have been in rooms and shifted the conversation because I'm like, that's not going to work, and here's why. And giving them like, I'm a I believe in storytelling, telling not just my story, but, you know, people that I was in group homes with, people that I was in placements with, young people that are in foster care, that I've worked with as an adult, and explaining to them, like how there are so many barriers to their participation in the classroom and that the burden of being your own advocate as a kid is extremely difficult. And so, like, I think that that's, you know, people's orientation when it comes to that student population is they're like, oh, well, we have all these resources, and if they're not willing to accept it, then whatever. And it's like you're not mature enough. And also you may be dealing with some other stuff and not everybody is like a trusted adult. Like I remember for a long time I didn't even want people to hug me, let alone, you know, try to offer me supports or trying to help me on like a personal level or like reveal, you know, like where I was struggling or, you know, even things that were going on in my group homes, like there was no outlet. So when systems and policies are made around kids like foster care, like we have policies about, you know, on housing, foster care, I had to on our district. I had to poke holes in our foster care policy when it came to my committee. And what happened was, is I was able to work with the district on a regular basis and really, like walk through the parts that gaps that I saw in this coordination with social services in the school system. And I remember when that policy passed the whole board after, you know, several readers and everything, that staff thanked me and I just like started crying because I was like, that's what I ran for.
Lauren Cardillo
Once again, we're talking with Ashley Esposito here on Unstoppable Stories. If you want to hear more stories like this, just like or subscribe on your favorite podcast channel. Going back for a second, ash, you did have. I mean, I've read through things. You did have a tumultuous education until you figured it out. So what was I know you started coding early, which helped you understand some of your your visual issues or visual strengths, I should say. And then you found that accommodations in college worked. How did that happen?
Ashley Esposito
And I would say there's one other piece of that is like therapy, like there is intensive therapy that I received. I actually still had the same therapist. And I think because you have to like talk about like the mental health part two and the, you know, like the education piece. So I think that that made me more open minded to receiving supports or being honest about like, you know, where like even even my therapist, I remember when all this came up, she's like, how did I not know this? And I've worked with you for so long. And I didn't know that, like, reading was such a challenge. And I was like, I've just hit it for so long, you know what I mean? Like, like reading out loud. I've gotten so much better. But there was a point, you know, like I was getting suspended. One of the main reasons why I would get suspended or like, kicked out of classes was because I would act up when it would come my turn to read and I would just like, pop off or like create a scene that didn't have anything to do with, like to be avoidant of reading.
Lauren Cardillo
Right? It was a way to get out of it, right?
Ashley Esposito
Yeah. Because people would like me, you know, like there's people that just thought I like I said they would just classmates and some adults, unfortunately, would think that I was either dumb or like or, you know, the other thing that was also harmful was calling me lazy, you know, because I would speaking to me, they were like, oh, you're capable, you're just not doing it. And they didn't. Even if I've expressed like, I'm really trying hard and I just can't.
Lauren Cardillo
So then how did you end up finding the right path?
Ashley Esposito
Receiving the diagnosis was crazy, but but Umbc also there was something interesting that they did that ended up being an accommodation for me. There was a point where they actively decided to be innovative and make all their books into a format that was like a PDF, like built into the online platform that we have. So that made every reading material accessible to me through a screen reader. So we figured out once, once my husband was kind of like, maybe it's just like, I don't know, like he doesn't he didn't do that part. But I that was one thing that I found after like doing Google searches that was like helpful if you were struggling with reading or, you know, like visually and stuff. So I start using that. That was a game changer. But had my books not been in a virtual environment, that wouldn't have been possible because this is before we had apps where we could take pictures of pages and things like that. So those two things happening at the same time, like I, I may have mentioned this before, I don't I don't know how this how advising is going to react to this, but one of the things I used to do was enroll in a course when we still had paper books. I would enroll in a course. I would download all the things that were that you needed to do in that course, like the syllabus, all the assignments. And then I would withdraw. And so what I was doing was getting the book, getting the materials and giving myself like six months lead time to try or a semester lead time to try to study so that, you know, I could keep up.
Lauren Cardillo
You came up with a workaround.
Ashley Esposito
Right, right. And so you'll see it on my on my transcripts. Like all these withdrawals or fails where I had to like, retake courses. I ever since my diagnosis and receiving all these supports, I have not fail the course and I have not had to do that work around anymore, which I'm sure other people are grateful for. As far as getting the head counts for their class, they probably saw me drop like of times.
Lauren Cardillo
Like she's taking this three times. Why is that? Well, because. She was w. She was trying to, you know, get it figured out. So what was the appeal of like data. I mean, I remember reading about you coding and and data or data depending upon you. Yeah. What was it that drew you to that?
Ashley Esposito
I, I don't I don't know what it was initially. I think that I didn't have early access to computers, but when I did, my brain just got it like I was just naturally good at it. So I taught myself programing languages like HTML and CSS. When I got my first job, my first real job, I once again was like struggling with reading writing because the accuracy of what I would do would just be all over the place. And I was so like, my whole life I've heard people say, like, are you paying attention? Like what? Like, what is this even? You know, it'll just say crazy stuff that I didn't see. So I started building myself, access databases to, like, generate my letters, you know, like baking things in and automating things so that I would make less mistakes and so that I could stay employed. And I did that at every job that I had. And so it made me look like competent. And but really what I'm doing is like coding and like Visual Basic and, you know, doing all this craziness, like taught myself SQL. And one of the jobs that I got was for the Bureau of Long Term Care eligibility as a clerical person, just date stamping mail. And I'm a systems thinker. So I was like, this is like you all are putting these things in these boxes. You all can't find applications. I was like, I got you all. So I built them a database like what I had always done for myself. But the first time I had built one for someone else, not only did it improve like our workflow, but it made us more compliant in processing applications. And then they got me more training because I was just like, I wasn't even asking for more money or anything like that. I was doing this stuff like secret, and I was like fascinated. I was like, oh my gosh, it's so much fun. Like so much better than date stamping. But the thing that happened was, is our central office was like, that's not allowed. It did not approve this. Bring all your databases to Central office. And I had to put all my databases on a hard drive, take them down there. And I was like, God, I'm getting fired. And sure enough, they looked at what I built and the person that was in charge at the time, who I'm still in contact with, Vesta Campbell, who was amazing. She actually recommended that we stayed with my databases and also recommended that I become a developer, and I didn't even process that it was a job that I was doing. And so that that's where, you know, UMC, I changed my major to software development, and that's what my bachelor's degrees in.
Lauren Cardillo
You moved. You moved towards the things you were really good at. You. You created your own job, which is, you know, amazing. So I think it took eight years for the degree, which makes sense, considering you were working and doing other things and had a kid somewhere along there. How how did it feel when you finally graduated? What did that feel like?
Ashley Esposito
It was I think it was hard because it was the pandemic I wasn't able to, like, fully, you know, be like, oh, but it felt like it felt really good. It felt like affirming because, I mean, a lot of the things that I knew how to do, I taught myself. But being able to go through the classes and, you know, learn some new technology. The only thing that that did kind of bum me out a little bit is that I did get burnt out in tech because I was like doing some good work, but I just I reached a certain point where I had done so much, like really difficult work that I just, I don't know, I feel like there's a shelf life for developers because. Because, yeah, I got it to a certain point where I was just like, I just can't do it anymore. Like my brain was just needing, like, something else.
Lauren Cardillo
Like you, you took it enough data at that point. So what did you end up with in your master's in?
Ashley Esposito
So I was really struggling like about whether or not to stay in tech. I really tried hard to stay in because I did love it, but that burnout was just something that I couldn't get over. So I had a lot of friends and I had worked with in like, nonprofits or, you know, doing like community organizing stuff. And a job came open at Baltimore Renters United as the executive director. It was like very like entry level ed small organization. And folks are like, yeah, you should do it. In fact, like one of my folks that I worked with on the campaign, my campaign manager was like, yeah, why? And I got in there and it was it played it almost like refreshed the parts of my brain that I used when I was a developer. It was just different because. So instead of like coding, I'm like building systems and processes. And, you know, I think being an executive director first was, was really interesting. Like that's that's lucky. But I mean, when you combine like all my skill sets, like outside of coding, it did make a lot of sense. But once I got in there, I realized very quickly that on the business side, you know, there are gaps in like my understanding and able to do that job. So there was another job that my current job now at Baltimore Unity Hall that I got. And simultaneously I was like re-enrolled to get my master's because, yeah, I think naturally, like, I have really strong operational skill sets about like decision making and like putting systems in place and make workflow. And here is really interesting because we like manage event rentals. We have office, office spaces, artists, studios. There's a lot of moving parts, especially managing a building and being the executive director of a nonprofit. But the timing of going back to school right now has been really good. So the classes that I've had simultaneously, I'm like dealing with something at work. And I really do learn better, like doing things hands on. So I was bringing a lot of my work work into like my class work.
Lauren Cardillo
I have people in my life who have ADHD, and I've always said that it's a superpower. Actually. At a certain point in your life, you could say it's a superpower, allows you to do all these things. You know, if if you know how to do it and you know how to develop it, right?
Ashley Esposito
It's yeah, it depends on I mean. Right. That's the that's the key is like harnessing it. Because if you don't get control of it, it will man the side class. Like you will have so many hobbies that are unrelated and not followed through, like even even things like driving. That was a really interesting one for me, is that before I got diagnosed, before I started taking medication, I thought everybody was like a terrible driver. It was me. So like I just had some. And then I remember also the ADHD diagnosis when I got my whole education thing, that was the one I had the hardest time accepting because I went. I remember I went home and I was like, I don't have it right, because I went into this evaluation and I told the lady that evaluated me, I was like, my rating is not good. I'm frustrated. It's not like I have ADHD or anything. So when she brought me back to like, give me the full report, she's like, sweetie, she's like, you have like severe ADHD and did recommend that. I like, took medication. And I was like, nah, like I'm good. I'm killing it in. My husband was like, you know, you were a hazard. Like he was like, you know, I was always like, leaving cabinets open, leaving the stove on. Like, there's things like that that we don't talk a lot about with ADHD. But yeah, like and I'm also.
Lauren Cardillo
Like, you're like, thanks dear for for saying that your support. Right.
Ashley Esposito
Yeah. He's like, you're so sweet, like tolerating like all this like crazy. And we've been together for so long. He was just used to it. You're like you're that's your quirk.
Lauren Cardillo
When you when you look back now and think about that, that kid in middle school who was lost, you know, and didn't feel very confident. What would that kid think of you now? I mean, it's it's a lot of kids fall through the cracks. You did not. What would that girl think?
Ashley Esposito
Oh my gosh. First of all, I learned as an adult, you know, I had a really hard time speaking. So, like, the the closest thing that I can find to describe it is like, selective mutism. Of course, I didn't have a diagnosis back then or anything like that, but I went to school with a lot of folks that didn't know that I could really speak. It was like a different level of like, painfully shy that made me like, really struggle to express myself. You know, I had a I have a friend that I'm still friends with to this day that was like my mouthpiece. So she was like the one that I would tell stuff and, and I think also the way that I process sometimes I don't have a response like I need to like digest a little slower. She, she was like, my, my yeah, just my best friend, my mouthpiece, my advocate. And I think I would be shocked at that age to see, first of all, I'm talking to people like just starting there, but also like public speaking, reading like in school board meetings. I have to read. I mean, the folks that work with me like they do try to give me things like in advance, like it's still like a bit of a struggle to like, read things if I don't know all the words or haven't read it in advance. But yeah, doing the stuff that I'm doing now, I think that I would have like crippling anxiety over it and be like, no way. Like I think my little self would be in disbelief, but also like being able to say, like, you're going to be okay.
Lauren Cardillo
Yeah. I can't even imagine, you know, to to achieve what you have achieved, you know, and you're and you're going to achieve more obviously. Yeah. Going back to a sect for being the executive director of Baltimore Unity Hall. What does that mean you exactly do. And how many people are you managing and how do you balance that with. You also have an artistic side. So sort of a multi-pronged question, but I know you can answer. Yes.
Ashley Esposito
Yes. So this literally was my dream job. I really liked the executive director role at the organization that I was with before, like just getting a taste of it, but I actually had a relationship with Baltimore Unity Hall before I got here. So I'm a photographer and I also paint like I have an artist studio that I share with my amazing friend August, and I had been a photographer here with Black Arts District for a couple of events and didn't really process what the space was or like the history. So historically, this space, like we're all Utah place in Baltimore City, and this is actually like where a lot of redlining started. So you have like the tale of two cities, like on the street, like you can see it very clearly. And when there was some redevelopment happening, this space was actually an eyesore. So it's a building that fell into disrepair in. But it really needed to be preserved because it was formerly like the Phoenix Club, the Amalgamated Textile Workers Union, Hall Empowerment Temple, and so the developers and community folks came together to try to reimagine the space. And it ended up turning into a really cool space where the community was like, I need a kitchen, I need offices. We should have art stuff, you know, from a social justice, you know, equity perspective. It was really, really interesting to me, like going through the interview process and hearing from the folks that helped redevelop it, because it's not often that you get developers that are very focused on building the community need. And, you know, I know a lot of them come from like a, a background where they served like a lot of, like diverse communities. And their values are to, like, not put pen to paper and really like trust community voice. And I think in a city like Baltimore, we're like, you know, there's redevelopment happening. And a lot of times it's happening to people and not with them. So for a developer to sit down with folks and be like, hey, this building is a hot mess. Yes, but we can make it beautiful. And we, we trust y'all to like, say what it should be, you know, for the community to, to use. And I think the other important part of the story is that sometimes when buildings are redeveloped, the community loses access to it. It becomes a beautiful space. And then the community that used it previously or had access to it, it is either out of their price range or, you know, it's just so exclusive that it ices them out from, you know, being like a real community space that serves the community. But I think that we've accomplished something really cool. The folks that were part of those listening sessions, some of the organizations that helped reimagine this space are now housed here. So we have No Boundaries Coalition or it's Everyday Charm, Maryland Volunteer Lawyers for the Arts. And we have a full time caterer who is a, you know, Baltimore City College alum. I know folks in the city will be like, understand that preference because here it matters where you graduated high school, not where you graduated college. And yeah, there's just so many things like actually right now, right as Im sitting here, there's a huge event downstairs. You know, there's vendors here, there's something happening in the auditorium. And the entire lower level is like youth programing right now. And the space is alive. We host 30 to 40 events a month. And, you know, with so many like, diverse groups that use our space to, like, I kind of feel like a chief energy officer, sort of that's like trying to I think I might have soul that for my friend Deon.
Lauren Cardillo
But it sounds like it sort of feeds your soul.
Ashley Esposito
Yeah, it does, because I really, once I like, came out of my shell. And, you know, just, like, moved to the city, you know, when I, when I left Delaware, I had experience, like, a lot of craziness and needed a fresh start. And it was really like folks here that, like, poured into me, like the city, like, rebuilt me. I came here in my early 20s and I'll be 42 this summer, so I've been here a while, and it has been transformative because, like, there's such a deep respect for community here for the arts, just innovative people here. And I feel like Baltimore Unity Hall has become like a hub for that. Like people know that they can come here even though we have like rental fees and things. We also have a care fund, which is a community aid and repast equity fund. So if there's a family that loses, someone can't afford a memorial, like they know they can come here and we'll support them and make sure that they can, you know, pay their respects to their loved one. Or, you know, there's it also covers like community organizing space. It also is able to be used to offer a healing service to the community for free in exchange for space access. So it's been yeah, it's been really, really nice. And I do feel like I'm the it's been good to be the one facilitating all this, because I do see so many people in the building that I know through, like different parts of my life in the city that are all sharing space. And I also think, like when you're talking about like social isolation divisions that are happening like across the country, there's something really special about having so many people on different ends of the political spectrum, you know, culturally different. We are like in the epicenter of like synagogues, churches, mosques in this area, and they are all sharing space. And so it's like, and I in my biggest dream is that, you know, if groups are ever having conflict, if, you know, there's, you know, underlying like systemic historical things or like wounds that they want to heal, that this is the space that they want to do it in.
Lauren Cardillo
And so how many people do you said, how big is your team? How many people do you manage?
Ashley Esposito
So there's only two full time in pool employees, me and the events manager. And then we have this roster, I think of 14 event support folks. So they work independently and like, you know, sign up for events that they want to work. I have vendors that I work with, property manager. I'm managing both like the organizational piece and the physical building itself, which is crazy because I have gotten the best crash course in property management and development. Like the developers and all the folks that are around me. I love surrounding myself by people that are way smarter than me because I'm just able to like, absorb and like watch them navigate things. And they're also always willing to like, jump in and support when we face like a new issue.
Lauren Cardillo
It does sound like a tree and drama. I, I love that you're in that sort of like, you know, at the center of it. If you talk to people who are mentors or trying to help other kids and they say the kids aren't open to receiving them, you know what they have to do, what they have to say. What's the lesson you can say you can give those mentors about timing or about how kids sometimes think.
Ashley Esposito
I know I was one of those kids. There were services programs, like just one on one support that people were willing to offer me. I just wasn't ready to receive it at the time. They were willing to give it. And I would say, the best thing you can do is be persistent but not persistent in like a pushy way. But don't write them off, or don't get mad that it's not on your time because you have no idea, like what someone's going through or what. When I receive, when I did accept help in different ways at different points in my life, it was right on time, you know what I mean? Like, I made the most out of it. So that's the one thing I think you should keep in mind is that do you want some kid just saying yes. And then like going through the motions but not really it having the impact that it could have had had you been on their time instead of yours. So I would say, you know, lovingly be persistent, not aggressively. Like don't push kids, don't shame them, you know, give them grace and they'll come around in their own time. And when they do, it'll be a lot more valuable. Great.
Lauren Cardillo
So thank you so much for joining us today, Ashley, and sharing your really fascinating story about how you went through a lot of challenges and where you are today. And for everybody listening and watching, please remember to like and subscribe. If you want to see more unstoppable stories on your favorite podcast channel. Thanks again and we will see our viewers next time. Thank you.
Ashley Esposito
For having me.