UMGC Unstoppable Stories Carolyn & Immanuel Patton

Nathan James:
A son makes a promise to his mother at a young age.

Immanuel Patton:
Yeah.

Nathan James:
That if she doesn't have her degree by a certain time that we're gonna do this together.

Immanuel Patton:
She would always put us first and everything else. Like her family seeing that to me was like, I was just young, just sitting in the back of the car. Just listen, it just came to me rambling.

Carolyn Patton:
I feel like God gave it to me like it's a wow factor because he always talks like that and he has dialogues, you know, conversations that he want to talk about and things that are heavy on his mind to be a baby. A little child of five years old, having these in-depth thoughts, I never would've thought about that. He would want me to graduate with him at that time.

Intro:
Welcome to the UMGC podcast. Unstoppable stories with your host, Nathan James.

Nathan James:
Well, hello and welcome to the UMGC podcast Unstoppable Stories. I'm here with our, uh, guests, Carolyn Patton and Emmanuel Patton. Uh, they're both graduates of UMGC and, uh, I can't tell you how excited we are to have them on here with us live. So, uh, Carolyn, Immanuel, thank you for being here.

Carolyn Patton:
You're welcome.

Nathan James:
No problem. How y'all feeling today?

Carolyn Patton:
Wonderful. Wonderful. At peace. Yeah.

Nathan James:
Let's jump into this. Okay, let's jump right on in. Look, the headline of your story, it's obvious, uh, a son makes a promise to his mother at a young age. Yes. Yes. That if she doesn't have her degree, uh, by a certain time that. You're gonna do this together, you're gonna get that degree together. Absolutely. Can you please fill us in, give us some background? How did that promise, how'd that promise come to be?

Immanuel Patton:
I would say how the promise came up is was we're Dr. We were just driving, and to me, I've always seen, my mom always carried me everywhere she went for the most part. And so I always looked at it as like, I went in her office and I'll always hear people talking about like, oh, I have my degree, I have my bachelor's. I have. This and all, you know, all these accolades. And my mom always showed, like I always heard about, like she just had that compassion. She always know how to, like the role was already built for her. All she had to do was just step in. And so the thing was it just didn't have that degree though. Because she always had to postpone for other things, like making sure my sister and myself were all taken care of. She would always put us first and everything else, like her family. And so seeing that to me was like, I was just young, just sitting in the back of the car, just listening.

I'm just, it just came to me randomly. I was like, I felt like God gave it to me. Like, you know, ma, I always see how hard you work. My main thing is if you don't get it by this time. I get when this whole time in this journey, you don't get it. My main thing is when it's time for me to start, we gonna get it together. So I visualize it. I had hope. I put that. That was a hope seed I put right back then and I believed it.

Carolyn Patton:
I had crazy amount. Of belief in that, oh yeah, this is going to happen with my son and I, as, as he mentioned about we, he's always with me most of the time. You know, he sit in his car seat in the back of me and he has dialogues, you know, conversations that he want to talk about and, and things that are heavy on his mind to be a baby. A little child of five years old, having these depth in depth thoughts. I never would've thought about that. He would want me to, uh, graduate with him at that time. I don't like school. And who does? It's important. It's, it's an important tool to have, you know, I have to press my way through, right? As a single mom raising two children, and my daughter, you know, who's now 43, she has her bachelor's degree, my son now 25.

Wow, has his bachelor's degree and myself getting ready to be 65 if the Lord let me live to see it in December, having my Bachelor's degree. So I always want them to have good success, not just success, but good success, meaning being strong of a good courage, being able to not let somebody make them feel that they can't accomplish anything, that anything they put their mind to, they can do it. And, but they also pour into me, especially my son. He pours into me. My daughter does too. But my son is in my ear all the time about positive things and I appreciate that because sometime I wanna give up, I, I get tired, but I, he, he said, Nope, you can't give up, mom. You gotta keep pressing. You, you, we go to the trail, you know, we do a lot of things together. And, uh, going forward to get that degree, I was just focusing on him. Getting out of community college, transferring to get a four year degree. And here he says, well, while you signing me up, you need to be signing yourself up,

Nathan James:
Carolyn, that's. Really good. And I've gotta get a little bit more of your reaction too, about, okay, five years old you said, right?

Carolyn Patton:
Yes. Five years old. Your son is here talking to you about this, a 5-year-old child. Yes. Yes.

Nathan James:
I can't just let that one slide like. How do you react to that? You're hearing your five year-old tell you about college and saying, we gotta make a promise. I'm gonna make a promise to you, mom. What's, what did that feel like?

Carolyn Patton:
Well, it's, it's a, it's a wow factor because he always talks like that. You know, he talks about a lot of deep things. He, when it comes to marriage, talks about relationships. So to talk about school, you know, here it is, I'm taking them to private school every day. You know, to go to school, uh, trying to get there, trying to press our way in, not knowing how I'm gonna afford him to go to private school, but we did it. God, God made a way, you know, I, I had to work, you know, extra hours cleaning up a church just so he could go to school, not knowing that they really didn't think that he was going to make it. But I did. I believed in my son that he was gonna press his way all the way through from private school to public school. College. I mean, I took him to a four year college. He said, mom, can we make a deal? If I keep honors, you'll come back and get me, 'cause I don't wanna stay out here. I took him to a, you know, a, a four year college down on the eastern shore. He didn't like it. He kept his honors. When that semester ended, I packed him up.

Picked him up, brought him back to my school. I said, well, you still gotta go to school. You, you can't just not go to Seaside. I got that. He said, but I'm gonna use your benefits. I'm gonna go to your school. And he did. And he came and, uh, ended up getting a little part-time, you know, college work, study job. And, uh, ended up, I thought he was just gonna do one degree. But he end up doing two degrees and two certificates. I mean, he was moving and his grades were moving with it, and then it so happened Covid hit. When Covid hit, he didn't get a chance to do like a actual commencement. He did a car. A car commencement.

Nathan James:
Oh yeah.

Carolyn Patton:
And uh, so that was unique and different, you know, that how much son was able to not go across the stage or anything like that. But we drove through the campus and they announced his name out and you know, he ended up getting his degree and what have you. And then it's like, okay, now it's gonna be time to move to the next thing. The next thing is a four year degree. But he is not the type that wanna interact with a whole lot of, you know, like the in classroom setting. So I said, well, how about UMGC? You know, uh, it's an online, you know, college and you don't ever have to set foot on the campus. He said, that may not be so bad. He said, well, why you signing me up? Signing yourself up too? Because we both going.

Nathan James:
Huh.

Carolyn Patton:
And uh, I thought that by both going, that means he would help me. And you know, he's very structural, very stern. He said, mom, just like, I gotta get my lessons. You gotta get yours. And to be honest with you, uh, Nathaniel, I had almost, yeah, giving up 'cause I had a breakdown in the middle of that journey. And I just said, you know, forget it. Just you go on. Don't worry about me. He said, Nope, you got to pick yourself up. You can't, you can't just stop. I said, I, I just, I just can't get it, you know, trying to understand the, the, all the terminology, the schematics and, you know, all of the chatting and have to go and do the, um. When we have to, you know, send the different, um, assignments back and forth. That became a lot to me and it was overwhelming. And I just said, you know, forget this. I, I, you know, I don't have to get that degree. Long as you get yours, I'm, I'm fine. He said, Nope, mom, you've come too far. You've gotten too many credits for you to talk about your giving up.

He said, dust yourself off, pick yourself up, whatever you need to do, but you're not quitting. And. I didn't think that I was going to make it at the same time as he did, matter of fact. And, uh, all of a sudden I had a teacher after she listened to my story and she says, take as much time as you need. I said, well, I don't need a lot of time. I, I just need a break. And so she says, well, you know, if you need to take a couple of years away, I said, it's not gonna take me that long either. I, I just need to step back and then regain myself and get back into it. And sure enough, I, I did. And then of course I had another teacher who really encouraged me a lot with my materials that I was sitting in the projects that I was sent in, in my, um, music class that I had to do.

And, yeah. Um. And that program, humanities, it took me in a whole lot of different journeys, you know, places, humanities that I probably would not have gotten a chance to get on an airplane and fly to, you know, different countries, different cultures, different customs, unique people. And um, finally when I submitted all my credits and they sent me an email said, look, you, you are able to march you, you are able to graduate.

Nathan James:
Oh my goodness.

Carolyn Patton:
And I'm like, wow. And I told Immanuel, I said, guess what? I think I'm gonna be able to graduate with you. He said, see, that's what's up. That's what's up. He said, mom, he said, I didn't doubt it. I didn't know that we were gonna do this. But for me it got a little hairy because, um, I really wanted to just give up in the middle, middle of the journey.

Nathan James:
Mm-hmm. That okay. So right there, um. That's where you need encouragement the most, right? Yes. When I think we can all relate to that, our audience can relate to that, uh, where you feel like you're down for the count.

Carolyn Patton:
Yes. Right? Yes.

Nathan James:
And for someone to come from the outside. Right. Um, and to be there for you to help lift you back up.

Yes. It's one of the most powerful things you can expect. Yes. Look, you've poured all of this belief and, and, and, and encouragement into Emmanuel. Mm-hmm. And, and Emmanuel. Ends up returning that favor. Talk about clutch timing. Emmanuel, talk to me about this and talk to me about, uh, what it's like, you know, being able to be there for your mom in terms of believing in her and encouraging her, especially when she was going through it.

Immanuel Patton:
Yeah. So I would say I know my mother. I, I seen her. I know, I know. My thing is like always seen how like she does things. I know she procrastinates. She's good. She big on that. My biggest thing is like, okay, you know, procrastination. I get that. I've seen it all always, like back then when I was younger, I was like, I seen it. I understand. I always took time. Like for me, I'm the type to sit back. I'll be in the room and I'll just be watching, but I'm understanding everything and then I was talking and so for me, I watch it. I'm like, okay, you know. Knowing how my mother deals with it or handles different things and how she goes about it and how her way of processing things. I was like, okay, main thing is this. When we're going to go to school, I know that you can't just be in her ear too much because it ain't gets too much and then she shuts down. So to me, it was like everything happened for a reason. Everything will always happen for a reason. I always believed that. And so the seed I put back then give her that time.

Before I, before you know, me going from kindergarten all the way till finally about to start at UMGC, it gives her a time to kind of prepare herself mentally, even though, if you probably think I forgot, I never forgot. And so my thing is when we finally started, it's like I told her, I said, when we're doing this, I said, I know it's going to be hard. It's not easy. I'm not a big fan of school. Yeah, keep it real. Keep it real. Look, I'll look. We'll keep it real. Go ahead, brother. So I told him, I'm like, I know the importance of it though. Mm. That's the biggest thing is even though I may not like it, there's a lot of things I don't like, but I know the, the importance of it. I know that if I have this degree, no one can take this away from me. I always look at, like I told students, I say these degrees are like a key to a door, to a field of all land opportunities and. You, there's so many different things jumping around. You may not be able to catch every last one of them, but you have the opportunity though.

There's options of what you may wanna catch. Hmm mm-hmm It's just opening that gate. So to me, when I look at my mind, when I talk to her, I'm like, when I know those, like that class where it gets hard, it's, I know like when it comes to math, yeah. I'm not your man. With that. I can, I can help you with it, but you know. I may, I know a lot of people feel that, by the way. I know a lot of people feel that people come out, I'm gonna be, I'm a look, I had a lot of folks come in help me and I'm like, especially when we're talking about algebra, I'm like, I had to go those tutoring sessions and trying to figure it all out. I'm like, God, I wanna stop right now.

But I'm like, to me, I realize if I stop, she's watching me. I always realize someone's watching me. I always, that's something will help me throughout this journey to help her out. And that's something I always watch. Like how she knows that I'm watching her when I'm younger. Like we all know, we watch our parents, we watch everything. And so I know that's the same thing in reverse. Age is just a number. My thing is my mother's gonna be watching me. If I say I give up, how am I gonna encourage I then I'll be a hypocrite. Hmm. So I'm like, this is bigger than me. This is bigger than I seen people from high school who I graduate with and I see what they're doing now. A lot of 'em, if they just, just in the streets or just doing nothing, I'm like, my thing is if they see me whenever they come, if I ever come in contact with them again, I can be able to say, man, look, you, you seen how I was, you seen my journey. My mother, she's of course you got front row seat to see. So my main thing is we have to get this. There's no. We can't quit now, they're, when they, how they say like the bachelor's is like the new high school diploma in this world you have to have that degree. A master's is like almost a bachelor's. That's like something extra. I always look at it. So I always thought about the master's. That's one of our goals right there as well.

And we still kind of going back and forth on that one, but, and I told her, I said, nah, one day. The main thing is realizing like, what, why are we doing this? Why is this important? I know for her, she, she has the people skills. She knows how to do it, and knowing what this degree means to her. So when she goes in these rooms, when she does these interviews with any job, if they ask, well, do you have a bachelors? Oh, yeah, I already got that. What, what else you need? What else? What else can we talk about? What, let's play ball. What else we got? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. My main thing is. Advertise yourself. Make sure that your accomplishment speaks for itself. You don't have to really speak for 'em.

Nathan James:
Obviously there's a synergy, there's a camaraderie, you know, between the two of you that's so special and you know, you, you talked about that on a very inspirational level. Both of you have. Now take me into what that looked like. Already did a little bit, but take us even more into a little bit, what that looked like on a practical, sort of every day, every semester basis. I mean, for one, you're living in the same house, I think during this, during this journey. So I'm sure that's helpful. Uh, during the pandemic now. Okay. What did it look like, you know, to be able to, to, to, to journey this way together, um, and help each other out, whether it be, you already talked a little bit about study habits and Yeah. Checking on, you know, complimenting each other. Um, but tell us a little bit more about that journey, what it looked like.

Carolyn Patton:
For, for, for me it was, we, we were in different areas. He could be downstairs in, in his space and I'm upstairs in, in my space, you know, so we are not like right there under each other because he's on a different program and I'm in a different program and so it's different things and especially when we had to do that pace. Uh, 100 I believe. Uh, his, he took one a little bit different based on what his program was, and mines was a little bit different, but it was still somewhat similar. Um, right.

Nathan James:
The specializations. That's right, yes.

Carolyn Patton:
Yep. Mm-hmm. The, the projects that you had to do and, but that, that PACE class sets you up for every other class that comes behind it. And I don't know whether a lot of students realize that, um, it is preparing you for the humanities, it's preparing you for the business aspect, preparing you for, uh, uh, interacting with people. That's right. It's preparing you for the social skills, the, the, the, the psychological skills, the mental skills, the cultural skills, the social skills. Mm-hmm. Is preparing you for a lot of things. And, and then I know when we first come in as a student, we think, man, this is a lot of work. Why do we even need to do this? This is basic. It's really not basic because you gotta write papers. You, you, you, you, you know, you have to get in group, do group dynamics, you know, with other, uh, interact with other students from other cultures and other customs and, and different things.

Learning how to be a leader, learning how to, you know, be a secretary or administrative or a chairperson, and. You know, take charge. You have to take charge. So at first I started out real slow about that. And then as I constantly kept interacting with the instructor. And the other thing is being able to communicate, communicate, communicate to your instructor. Do not step back and think that you got it when they're there to help pour into you. Some of the classes I did struggle with, but I needed help. And so I did have wonderful professors that didn't mind. Uh, walking side by side with me, but also had my son, my, my son also, who was there for things that I didn't understand that he may understand a little bit, but not that he helped me with my work or anything like that, because we both, you know, because of, uh, the integrity. You, you have to make sure you know that Sure, sure. That I'm not doing anything crossing the line. And he didn't 'cause he, he stayed specifically to what he needed to do. And so that, that helped me, uh, to be more, uh, in tune in spite of my procrastination. Yes, I am a big time procrastination. I work under the, under the fire, my, my adrenaline.

It gets my adrenaline going.

Nathan James:
Look, look.

Carolyn Patton:
For him. I know a lot of people relate to that. He likes to plan everything out or like he, he gets it done real quickly or whatever, and, but he does it accurately though. So I admire him for his way of doing things. But I, I, I also embrace the way that I do it too. 'cause it works for me.

Nathan James:
Hey, different strokes for different folks. Yes. Yes. And yet, keep it in the, can you tell, can you tell about that?

Carolyn Patton:
Can you tell different strokes for different folks?

Nathan James:
Different strokes for different folks, but keeping it in the family. Yes. Sharpening one another. Yes. Iron sharpens iron.

Carolyn Patton:
Come on now. Oh, he says that all the time.

Nathan James:
Okay. All right. Well let, let me get you in here, Immanuel. So to be able to, to share those moments, right? What's, what was that like? And uh, I'm sure you had stories of your own. You probably were. Sharing the Carolyn too. Oh, I'm going through it. Yeah. Like, mom, I'm going through, go ahead.

Immanuel Patton:
Yeah, I'll say, yeah, going, um, hearing how she be talking, like, I'm like on that, like how you were asked that question earlier about like the dynamics of on a daily basis. I would say that dynamic of like, I always, I like, I always, my main thing is work hard, play hard luck. I'm gonna have fun doing this. Now if I'm gonna do it, I'm going have fun. So if she over there doing work, I'll poke her. I like, mom, what you doing, mom? What's up? You doing something? Oh yeah, I know you doing your work. Look, I told you, you gotta get the work done, but mom, what's up? Mind? You wanna go, go. You wanna go to the trail you want, or I'll like, I'll just like, for me, I'll be like, ma, like just go mess with her ear a little bit. Like poker roll here. I'm like, ma, what you doing? And then she's like, man, wait, if you wanna leave me alone. And then she was like, all right, keep playing with me. I said, look on now. Come on, let's go. Like I said, my main thing is, uh, we gotta have, like, that's, that's my way of like breaking up the, the seriousness of school.

Mm-hmm. Because if you serious all the time, it's not gonna be enjoyable. Yeah. I see. This is gonna be way time, 10 times more harder. So my main thing is on that daily basis, it will be as. I'll, like, I'll just kind of find a way to break up the monotony of it and stuff. And then of course, like when she's telling me about like her stories with the professors, it's like, man, you know this professor right here? I'm like, look, I mean, I had my shit with professors. Like, you know, I had my journey with professors. I'll say this to kind of keep in, I'll still keep it real with y'all. I know when I tell my, like when I talk to students, I try to tell them. And I say, I understand exactly on all different levels of a different situation that you probably have with a professor.

I know exactly what you saying. I just can't say it, but I know what you're saying. Mm-hmm. And stuff. So

Nathan James:
Lemme pause you right there. Yeah. Um, 'cause you said you're advising students. Right. So, real quick, you, your role again, just for everyone listening with your current knowledge.

Immanuel Patton:
I am a successful chair at UMGC. Look at that. What do you know about that? I love it. That's, I love it. Cover, you know, undercover right there. Uhhuh y. Already know I was right there with y'all, so as well. So that's why I'm like, that's my brother right there. Look, so when I talk to my students, so I'm like, oh yeah. You know, I know from a student perspective, and I know from higher ed perspective, I know both ways. As a success coach, my main thing is I know what it feels like to be right where you, where it is at that moment. I. You know, it just goes to say in looking back on, on your journeys that, uh, the journey of education or whatever the journey might be in life, yeah.

Nathan James:
It may be challenging. No, it will be challenging, but that doesn't necessarily make it bad. It's what you make it right. You, you all just taught us. You can laugh through it, you can have a good time. There will be crying involved as well, but one thing that's guaranteed is there will be growth. And to see you both do that, it's just. Incredible. Thank you for sharing that with us. To wrap things up as relates to your story, what you would like for the main takeaway, uh, to be, uh, for all of our listeners, for everyone watching here, uh, from your story. And, uh, Emmanuel, you summed up so much already. I'm gonna give you a chance to say anything else you might want to, but Carolyn, how would you sum up, uh, the biggest takeaway from, from this story is?

Carolyn Patton:
It is to believe in yourself. Don't lose hope. Don't lose faith. Um. Keep pressing. And even if you have to take a break, even if you, if you have to pause, if you had to just put the press the pause button, but just don't have that pause button held down too long and, and miss the mark. You, you wanna keep going because at the end, the end results. Just like my son said, I'll piggyback off what he said to just show up. I had someone say that to me in a ministry. I, I showed up at a place and everybody had all these accolades behind their name, doctor this, doctor that, and the masters and that, and I had none of that. And I'm sitting back there like, why do they want me to come to this meeting? Why do they want me to show up in this meeting? I went to the ladies' room and the lady was in there. I said, if you don't mind me asking, why am I here? I said, I don't, I said, I don't have any of those accolades that everybody else have. And she says, you are in the show up ministry. I said, a show up ministry.

She said, that's right. Just show up. And because it, it's, it's a heavy impact By showing up, your present can be known. It can make a difference to somebody else who may be on the sideline and don't want to go forward. Uh, a classmate, a teacher, they, they want to hear what you're saying. They wanna be able to say, look. I appreciate that. I needed that, and I've had many of my instructors say, I'm, I'm so glad that I had a chance to talk to you, an opportunity to talk to you or meet you, even in the introduction that we have to give at UMGC. Uh, in your bio telling who you are, um, what's your, what's your goal, what's your aspirations? Uh, where do you see yourself, you know, in the next two or three years or what have you. Somebody is reading that. Another classmate is reading that. The teacher is reading that. So it's important to show up, be faithful, be true to yourself. Uh, don't give up. And, and if you can, find someone to encourage you. 'cause sometimes you may be down on yourself and you may you see no hope, um, lean toward, towards your success coach or whoever it is. Sometimes you may have to reach out to the president.

Nathan James:
Mm mm Don't give up. Immanuel, is there anything else you wanted to add before we, uh, wrap up?

Immanuel Patton:
Yeah, look, I would say, oh yeah, look, I'm a man of my word now and they know what I'm about to do. So I'll say the, um, first start off. It comes down to hope from the beginning. You gotta plant that seed. Hope is that it all comes down to, like, I always put God first before I do anything. That's one thing I, I love. I go off my, how, my name is, I really, I go off of that and so one hope God first. Another thing is know that you not gonna do this all on your own. I know we all feel like, yes, I can do this. I, I don't need nobody. I, I got this. Yeah, you believe in yourself, but know that you will need people. Mm-hmm. That's huge. A villain. That's huge. People are, I've never, this whole journey for me to make it this far for, I've been counting out a lot of my life. People have been right there.

Nathan James:
Thank you, Immanuel. Thank you, Carolyn.

Carolyn Patton:
You're welcome.

Nathan James:
Thank you, uh, for sharing your story, for your transparency, sharing that with us. Sharing that with our listeners, sharing that with our viewers. Um, there are people, a lot of people hearing, hearing this, who needed to hear, um, what you all needed to share, what y'all shared today. So again, thank you for being with us. Thank you for taking time to do that. Uh, I want to thank everyone listening as well, uh, for, uh, hanging with us. Uh, for listening in. Um, and I also wanna invite, uh, everyone watching and listening, uh, to like, uh, and subscribe. Uh, if you want to hear, uh, more unstoppable stories.